Books...I miss thee

I just love Ree Drummond, The Pioneer Woman.  She has an amazing blog and an even more incredible sense of humor.  My zest for life seems to be renewed every time I visit her!

Today, while perusing her page, I realized that she had a new post about books that have meant a lot to her.  I love hearing people's rationale for "loving" certain pieces of literary work.  It's like getting a glimpse into not only their mind but also their heart, what they value most in life, and how they honestly view their place in this world...the latter point being something we often hide from the universe and only confess to our darkest, most quiet selves.

Ree mentioned the book Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood.  Aside form its playful cover, the book has never really appealed to me.  I admit, mainly by ignorance, have I not picked up this read, but after experiencing (and it was truly felt) the following quote from the book, excerpted by Ree on her stellar blog, I will be heading to the library today to find this one:

“I try to believe that God doesn’t give you more than one little piece of the story at once. You know, the story of your life. Otherwise your heart would crack wider than you could handle. He only cracks it enough so you can still walk, like someone wearing a cast. But you’ve still got a crack running up your side, big enough for a sapling to grow out of. Only no one sees it. Everybody thinks you’re one whole piece, and so they treat you maybe not so gentle as they would if they could see that crack.”

— Rebecca Wells

 

Wow.  I must go now.  To the library!

The Prayer of St. Francis...

Ever since our marriage preparation course, I have loved this prayer.  In its muscial form, it was sung at our wedding celebration and it remains a constant source of encouragement, prayer, and peace for me.  It so very eloquently puts my desires and intentions into words, and I have yet to find a poem or writing that has equally done so.

I hope that you enjoy...

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love.

Where there is injury, pardon.

Where there is doubt, faith.

Where there is despair, hope.

Where there is darkness, light.

Where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;

to be understood, as to understand;

to be loved, as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive.

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

           Amen. 

My newest project...me

As previously mentioned, this past year "abroad" has been a doozy.  I have learned an awful lot...in school, in my relationships, but mostly about myself.  I have finally confessed a long-time known felt aspect of my personality: I am entirely too permeable to the whims, sorrows, stresses, and digressions of the world.  My emotional state and happiness are easily rocked by external forces, and this has produced and emotional roller coaster through migraine headaches, sleepless nights, less-than-stellar academic performances, ingratitude for the blessings that I have given, and a huge deviation from the person I wish to be. 

With many weeks of reflection and introspection (while sparing you the details of this year's hardships and sinusoidal highs and lows), I have realized that the greatest gift that I can give myself is that of emotional freedom and stability.  Believing whole-heartedly in the grace and gifts that the Lord provides in their due time, I happened upon a podcast of meditations published by Dr. Deepak Chopra and his holistic institute The Chopra Center.  For the last few weeks trials of school, I spent 15 minutes every day in meditation in an attempt to calm my head and relieve some of the stresses and worries that seemed to have taken-up residence there.  Shortly after returning home to my boy, I received an e-mail from The Chopra Center inviting me to take part in their 21-day Meditation Challenge.  Having already felt the benefits of a daily brain bath, I jumped at the opportunity.

I have just finished my first week of the challenge and can confidently say that meditation is now something I wish to incorporate into my daily routine.  The challenge is a series of daily e-mails, each with a link to the day's guided meditation, that lead you on a themed journey through 3 weeks.  This challenge is based upon creation of one's "Soul Profile"... a tool for reconnection to who you are, what it is you want from this life, and exploration of how you are divinely created to serve others.

The questions (or mantras) pondered, each given an entire week for their exploration, are:

1. Who am I?
2. What do I want?
3. What is my purpose and how do I use it to serve others?

Starting this challenge has been a big step for me.  I have been so busy, as of late, racing the clock to complete scholastic requirements, dragging myself through a big move back home, and resetting of both Paul's and my daily routine and living space.  It doesn't sound like much, but when your tank is already on "empty" it takes a lot of praying and digging for additional fuel sources to get done what you must.  [While I truly look forward to the blessing of motherhood, I have never been more grateful that the good Lord has not written that one into His plans for me just yet - screwing myself up is one thing...yoking a child with my wanderlust and inabilities is quite another].

I have found that daily meditation and the tools provided through this challenge have meshed seamlessly with my faith and have only brought me closer to my Heavenly Father.  Meditation has become for me a time when I can slow down, unplug myself from the world, and seek God's guidance in the silence I am able to cultivate.  It has reset my head for the path I am now on, and I look forward to further developing my meditation practice as well as my daily conversations with God. 

I have been gone for too long, and it's time to come home.

A new addition to the family...

My sister's cow, Buttah, finally gave birth after months of anticipation. Just a few short weeks ago Little Joe, the shorthorn-Angus rhone, was added to Melissa's expanding cattle company. He's the first of, what I hope to be, many. Isn't he adorable?!

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Your life can change in an instant...

It shouldn't take a vicarious tragedy for one to contemplate their own blessings and abundance.  But I have been recently reminded of how very fortunate we are, how blessed are lives have been and continue to be, and how very fragile this life is.  Appreciate your every minute.  Love those that bring you joy and your life meaning.  And never forget that there is someone in this world who is REALLY hurting, REALLY facing true tragedy, and would give all that they had to be in YOUR position and circumstances.  *gratitude*

Test

Another new phone...another app test. *fingers crossed*

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Big changes...

I'm writing to you from the wilds of a new home, back home, with my boy.  I no longer live close to school in Stockton but have returned to my home since 1998, close to my roots, close to my boy.  I plan to resume blogging with greater regularity, now that I am home and since so many changes and adventures have transpired over this past year.

School has pulled me so very far from my familiar, from family and friends, from the places and spaces that made my every day joyful and rewarding.  Like I said, it's been a rough year "abroad," but I have learned an awful lot and look forward to sharing some of those epiphanies over the next few weeks as I prepare to return to school after the semester break.

If you are still checking-in with my little blog, in hopes of a new post, I thank you and hope to not disappoint in the future.  I have just recently started reading the blogs of my family and friends and realize that, once again, I have missed out on so very much.  I hope, plan, and intend to change all this, and I look forward to keeping in better touch with my beautiful cousins and their blossoming families!

Life is good, it is so very good!