My newest project...me

As previously mentioned, this past year "abroad" has been a doozy.  I have learned an awful lot...in school, in my relationships, but mostly about myself.  I have finally confessed a long-time known felt aspect of my personality: I am entirely too permeable to the whims, sorrows, stresses, and digressions of the world.  My emotional state and happiness are easily rocked by external forces, and this has produced and emotional roller coaster through migraine headaches, sleepless nights, less-than-stellar academic performances, ingratitude for the blessings that I have given, and a huge deviation from the person I wish to be. 

With many weeks of reflection and introspection (while sparing you the details of this year's hardships and sinusoidal highs and lows), I have realized that the greatest gift that I can give myself is that of emotional freedom and stability.  Believing whole-heartedly in the grace and gifts that the Lord provides in their due time, I happened upon a podcast of meditations published by Dr. Deepak Chopra and his holistic institute The Chopra Center.  For the last few weeks trials of school, I spent 15 minutes every day in meditation in an attempt to calm my head and relieve some of the stresses and worries that seemed to have taken-up residence there.  Shortly after returning home to my boy, I received an e-mail from The Chopra Center inviting me to take part in their 21-day Meditation Challenge.  Having already felt the benefits of a daily brain bath, I jumped at the opportunity.

I have just finished my first week of the challenge and can confidently say that meditation is now something I wish to incorporate into my daily routine.  The challenge is a series of daily e-mails, each with a link to the day's guided meditation, that lead you on a themed journey through 3 weeks.  This challenge is based upon creation of one's "Soul Profile"... a tool for reconnection to who you are, what it is you want from this life, and exploration of how you are divinely created to serve others.

The questions (or mantras) pondered, each given an entire week for their exploration, are:

1. Who am I?
2. What do I want?
3. What is my purpose and how do I use it to serve others?

Starting this challenge has been a big step for me.  I have been so busy, as of late, racing the clock to complete scholastic requirements, dragging myself through a big move back home, and resetting of both Paul's and my daily routine and living space.  It doesn't sound like much, but when your tank is already on "empty" it takes a lot of praying and digging for additional fuel sources to get done what you must.  [While I truly look forward to the blessing of motherhood, I have never been more grateful that the good Lord has not written that one into His plans for me just yet - screwing myself up is one thing...yoking a child with my wanderlust and inabilities is quite another].

I have found that daily meditation and the tools provided through this challenge have meshed seamlessly with my faith and have only brought me closer to my Heavenly Father.  Meditation has become for me a time when I can slow down, unplug myself from the world, and seek God's guidance in the silence I am able to cultivate.  It has reset my head for the path I am now on, and I look forward to further developing my meditation practice as well as my daily conversations with God. 

I have been gone for too long, and it's time to come home.