Veni...vidi...vici. Ciao!

Well, today was my last day as the Safety and Surveillance Coordinator at the Center for Vectorborne Diseases at U.C Davis. While it's been challenging and often frustrating, I have enjoyed my time at CVEC. I have had the wonderful opportunity to work with graduate students from many disciplines. I've worked will cell biologists, virologists, entomologists, physicians, and veterinarians. I've worked with post-docs from Israel, France, Australia, and India. This job has presented me with many opportunities, and I am so very grateful for all that I have learned.

My last day was a very, very good one! I was surprised, early in the day, by my best friend Claire. She showed up at my office with a most beautiful bouquet of flowers and heart-felt congratulations on my "freedom." Claire and I go way-back to the the transfer student dorms at U.C.D. We met in 1998 and have been absolutely inseparable since. She's an amazing woman, so intuitive, with a big heart and the greatest hugs. You know, I'm so fortunate to be surrounded by some pretty amazing female friends! Anyway, Claire and I have the ability to go months without talking (and without hurt feelings), each of us engulfed in our own busy lives, and then popping into the other's life and catching up like no time has passed. I hope that I am always fortunate enough to have Claire in my life!

Later that day, my supervisor and some other coworkers planned a going-away luncheon for me. We went to The Davis Graduate (an appropriate farewell from my university employment) and had burgers, fries, and plenty of visitation! I was truly surprised by the turn-out and loved seeing all the folks that have made the last two years bearable!

The greatest among these are my dear friend, Maureen...

...and James (my right hand man...who presented me, that morning, with the awesome gift of a beer stein and miniature bottles of Bailey's, Kahlua, and Godiva liqueur...for my time off of work!) and Bborie (my other right hand, computer man).

So, now I'm unemployed. How surreal?! I've had a job since I was 16 years old, been in college since I was 15, and I'm not sure what to do with myself. It's the strangest, most liberating (and a bit disorienting) feeling to have complete control of your time. I'm going to spend a week doing nothing...eating bon-bons and watching Oprah. After that, I have a long list of things that I've been wanting to do for a very long time. I think I'll pick up reading again (for fun...not publication), and I look forward to picking up my old quilt project. And perhaps, finally, I can get back into the volunteer work I loved as a student. I also, last but not least, have a big move for which to prepare us.

I'll keep ya'll updated on the happenings of our family. With no computer at home and my mom's and sister's computers a drive away, the posts may be sparse. Despite the handicap, I'll keep you updated the best I can, and I'll let you know as soon as the pharmacy school letter rolls in!

Here's to unemployment...

Happy Valentine's Day!

I know that I've said it before, but I really am married to one of the greatest men in the world! He treats me with so much kindness, so much respect, and goes above and beyond to try and make me realize how very loved I am.

In previous years, Paul has presented me with some very creative, well-thought-out Valentine's Day surprises. The most memorable, thus far, was a poem that he wrote and framed for me. It hangs on our bedroom wall and stands as the most meaningful gift I have ever been given. And, every year, Paul also takes me out to see the newest girl-y, romantic movie in the theaters.

Flowers are not usually part of his repertoire. I think I told Paul, years ago, that (because of previous experience) flowers were given when someone screwed up, broke a promise, or were otherwise attempting to make-up for a deficit. As a result, I've never really wanted flowers or felt an absence when they weren't given. Paul has a very good memory and did remember that, despite the previous viewpoint, I had always wanted to be surprised with flowers sent to my work. So, given that the day after Valentine's Day was my last day of work, he arranged (four weeks ahead of time!!!) to have a Valentine's Day bouquet sent to my work on the day-o-cupid!

I was busy training my fellow coworkers when the beautiful flowers arrived. Paul knows me so well! He included two Calla lilies (my favorite) and snapdragons (my second favorite). He included one red rose, symbolic of the single red rose he gave me during our Catholic Engaged Encounter retreat. Little white daisies were thrown in because I told him that I loved that my mom had daisies in her wedding bouquet. And he asked the ladies at the flower store to fill-in the rest with pink and purple, my favorite flower color scheme. Boy, that boy is thoughtful!

When I got home that night, in keeping with our most wonderful tradition, Paul gathered us up and took me to see 27 Dresses, the new Catherine Heigl movie. Oh, so girl-y!!! We had a dinner of popcorn and coke (mmm!) and had a wonderful time!

I hope that you all were able to spend the day with those that you love, doing the things that you enjoy most. I never understood why people had a hard time with Valentine's Day. In it's purest form, when you strip away the obligations and flowers and candy, it's a day in celebration of love. It doesn't have to be the love of a partner...it's the love of a daughter, a friend, a sister, or a neighbor.

Love really is all around us!

Interview day

This past Friday, Mom and I saddled up and rode to San Francisco for my official UCSF School of Pharmacy interview. After sleeping-in that morning (oh, what a luxury!), I awakened to find that my sweet husband had made me breakfast and a snack for the rigorous day ahead of me. He topped it all off with a little inspirational love note for the day. I tucked that sweet note safely into my purse, donned my new pin-stripe suit and red Mary Jane heels (ya gotta be different!), and headed for Davis to meet up with my mom. Mom and I met up at Melissa's house and then drove together to the city. The gruesome threesome would have been but Missy had work...and the cows wait for no one. Instead, she played photographer and caught some great pictures of mom and me shortly before our departure (boy, I look professional...a professional what?).

We had a great drive to the city and made our way over the Bay Bridge in some of the thickest fog the city has seen in a while. As we drove over the bridge, Mom gasped as she caught the first glimpses of the city...Coit Tower, the Transamerica Building, etc. She just loves San Francisco and always tells me how much Pa (her dad) loved the city. Pa loved the city because nowhere else in the world could you walk down the street, ask ten people for directions, and get those directions in ten different languages. Pretty cool! Along with the excitement of going to school and the coolness inherent to living in such a city, I am also really excited about being a base camp for friends and family visiting San Francisco!

Once we got to the campus, we procured a cherry parking spot that overlooked Golden Gate Park and the bridge, and mom spent most of her time here (quilting and reading) as I navigated my interview day's activities.

Mom and I were graced with a real surprise in the form of a visit from my old roommate and dear, dear friend, Kaman. Kaman is in her third year of pharmacy school at UCSF and will soon be moving to Fresno to complete her clinical training. Boy, I'm gonna miss her!

She sure turned a stressful day into a joyous one! She met up with us shortly after our arrival and presented us with a beautiful, little care package. She had baked a myriad of delectable treats (she's so creative in the kitchen!) including buckwheat cookies and peanut brittle spiced with Indian seeds and spices. She also gave me one of her pharmacy class' t-shirts and the most beautiful necklace made of amber. (She knows that I really love amber!)

As if that weren't enough, Kaman took Mom and I to lunch at a great Indian place on Irving, walked me over to my interview, sequestered me away in a quite classroom away from the hub-bub of the registering interviewees as I awaited my interview time, and then met up with me after the day was over and handed me a cold lemonade! Kaman is a truly awesome friend, and I'm blessed to have her in my life! (I'm going to have to write a blog one day entirely about Kaman...she's been a very big and continuous part of my life...one of the most beautiful, thoughtful people I've ever met...definitely the kindest soul!)

All in all, it was a very good day! I was surrounded by some of the most wonderful and supportive women I know, I gave a good interview that was representative of the person I am and the skills I have to offer, and I really enjoyed myself! Now, we wait. They are interviewing a total of 370 people and expect to send invitations to 122 people. Letters could come as early as the end of this month and as late as April 1. If I don't get in this year, I may try again, but I will definitely take this as an opportunity/sign to explore other avenues..."we are never done when we think we are" (thank you, Alice Walker!).

Until then, please keep your fingers crossed for us as the next chapter of our lives unfolds.

Thank you to everyone who e-mailed me well-wishes, who offered up silent prayers, and who have been examples and support throughout the years leading up to this day!

I am so very grateful...

Food for thought

A while back, in the midst of some truly difficult personal times, my old coworker sent me the following short story. It has, in hard times, proven to be a respite and has since helped to remind me where to focus my energy and how to allot my time. It has been a wonderful guide and a reminder that we choose what to feel and we choose what NOT to feel.

Thank you, Maureen, for being one of the wisest and gentlest souls I have ever had the pleasure of knowing!

Here it is...

Cherokee Story

An elder Cherokee Native American was teaching his grandchildren about life.

He said to them, "A fight is going on inside me...It is a terrible fight, and it is between two wolves. One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, pride and superiority.

The other wolf stands for joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. This same fight is going on inside of you and every other person too."

They thought about it for a minute and then one child asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"

The old Cherokee simply replied..."The one I feed."

Life-long friends

Paul has told me many stories of his time growing up. Some of the most vivid, heart-felt, and memorable ones come from his years at Marin Catholic high school. When Paul and I were first dating, I remember his stories of friends Jenn and Tanya. I remember thinking that these ladies were awful lucky to have found such a friend in Paul and, at the same time, I felt eternally grateful to these women I didn't know. I was grateful because, through stories and adventures re-told, I came to truly appreciate the loyal, honest, and protective friendship they provided my husband-to-be through the tumultuous high school years. These awesome women sounded like friends that I'd wished were the support system of my youth.

Years later, I actually got a chance to meet Jenn and Tanya (and the rest of the MC gang) at a birthday party in Novato. I remember being so terribly nervous as we made our way to that party. I was convinced that I wouldn't fit in...that I would feel like an outsider in this exclusive club where membership was forged by experiences in which I would never partake. Well, quite to the contrary and much to my delight, Jenn and Tanya welcomed me with open arms and instantly pulled me into the MC crew. We clicked like friends that had been apart for way too long!

Since that day, I have greatly enjoyed being in touch with these two amazing women. They are kind, loving, soulful, loyal, respectful, sexy, honest, hysterical, fun women...friends that I've needed for a very long time. Tanya and I will be celebrating our 30th birthdays together in a giant, joint, blow-out party at our little house on the tomato field. And Jenn and I have started keeping in touch by phone, lending support and a willing ear as we each navigate through our crazy lives. It's been years since I've enjoyed this kind of girl-y camaraderie and I'm loving it!

I have so many reasons for which to be grateful to Paul, and I can now add a very loving circle of devoted, loyal, and life-long friends to that ever-growing list!

Jenn, the rockin' belly dancin' nurse...

Tanya, the magnificent maven of Oaxaca...

Thank you, ladies!

I've been tagged!

Yay! Thank you for the tag, Sarah! I really enjoyed reading your post all about Justin. I know him a bit better now and, yes, he definitely looks a lot like Pa in the younger years!

This tag is all about hubbies, and I've been blessed with a pretty spectacular one!

1. What is his name? His name is Paul Joseph Domer. I call him PabloBear.

2. How long have you been together? Paul and I met on-line some time in early November of 2004. After weeks of e-mailing (and many, many nerves), our first date was on December 4, 2004, at the G Street Pub in Davis, CA. We've been inseparable ever since.

3. How long did you date? We actually dated for about a year before we got engaged December 29, 2005.

4. How old is he? He turned 31 this past January 10. His birthday is one day after my Papa's. They are two of the greatest men I have ever known.

5. Who eats more? Hmm. That's a toss-up! Paul really likes the sweet side of life while I'm a true fan of the salt. So, he can really put away the candy, and I'll be hovering around the meat and cheese tray. Both of us are trying to trim down the volume...thank you Weight Watchers!

6. Who said "I love you" first? I did and boy was I scared! That evening, we were snuggling on the sofa, talking, and watching a movie. I told him that I had to tell him something but that I was scared. He spent ten minutes trying to coax it out of me as I hemmed and hawed trying to muster-up the confidence to drop the "L bomb" on him (it was only our fourth month together). Paul chuckled the entire time because (as he tells me now) he knew exactly what I was trying to say. When I finally said it, the biggest and most beautiful smile in the world spread across his face and he told me that he had loved me too...for quite a while.

7. Who is taller? Paul has a few inches on me. I think I'm 5'7" and he's 5'11".

8. Who is smarter? Paul would tell you that I was, but I will forever disagree. He is the smartest man that I have ever met. Having worked in a library for most of his life, he's been exposed to so many different topics of study and thought. He blows me away with the breadth of his knowledge! Paul, too, is definitely one of the few people who will entertain some of the hair-brained philosophies I have on life, who will listen to me rattle on about scientific experiments and papers in which I'm knee-deep, and who can piece together the fragment thoughts that often leave my mouth. I think we challenge one another on many levels. We're never bored. I love being married to my best friend!

9. Who does the laundry? We actually share this duty. I think it depends upon who's the most tired after work or who passes out first when we get home. But the loser (the more energetic, conscious one) will make sure that the laundry pile doesn't get too steep. Soon, without any gainful employment, I'll be making sure that he gets to come home, pass out, and still have clean shirts for the next day.

10. Who does the dishes? Again, we share this job. Actually, I think Paul does most of the kitchen duty. We kind of made a pact when we moved into our home. He preferred being inside and I loved being outdoors in the yard. So, I do most of the yard maintenance and he makes sure that we have clean dishes and plenty of room to cook (in our shoe-box of a kitchen!).

11. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? I never know which is the left and which is the right. I guess that's good because we tend to alternate sleeping positions. I think that's strange, for most couples tend to pick a side and set-up camp. My sweet husband, bless his heart, warms my side of the bed for me every night before we go to sleep. While I'm in the shower, he climbs into my side of the bed, tucks himself in tight, and waits for me to get out of the shower. Then he lets me jump into the warmed flannel sheets while he scoots over to his cold side. Did I mention that I'm a lucky girl?

12. Who pays the bills? I do. I'm not a control freak (I guess I haven't come to terms with it yet...not quite as far along as Sarah!), but I do like having a perpetual handle on our finances, where the money is going, and how much we have left. I also get to exercise some of the OCD when I do bills. It's very orderly...very satisfying. Oh my goodness...I am a control freak!!!

13. Who mows the lawn? That would be me. I love doing yard work!

14. Who cooks the dinners? We share this task most of the time. We are both really good cooks and both really enjoy cooking. I think there was a time, long before we each knew the other, when we entertained notions of going to cooking school. We plan, one day, when I'm well on my way in pharmacy and we have some capital, to open a deli of our own. Paul is so adventurous in the kitchen. He has created some of the greatest stir-frys, pasta dishes, and culinary concoctions that have ever tantalized my taste buds. I'm a very lucky girl!

15. Who drives when you are together? I do. Again, control freak. I drive so defensively that I'm not sure I could ever be a truly non-backseat driver.

16. Who is more stubborn? Me...without a doubt. Neither of us (or anyone who knows us, for that matter) will squabble over this question. In my stubbornness, however, I never forget some very special advice my father-in-law once gave: "It's better to be kind, than right."

17. Who kissed who first? Paul kissed me first...first date...within the first three hours of meeting. Now, in defense of my morals, we had been talking every day for three weeks before we met, so I had a pretty good idea as to the character of this character. Even before we kissed for the very first time, I knew that my life would forever be more complete because of having met Paul.

18. Who asked who out first? Hmmm. Not sure. I think we just mutually agreed that we should meet for drinks or coffee or something. We've been "mutually agreeing" ever since!

19. Who proposed? Paul did. Oh, it's such a sweet story! Paul and I had been dating for about a year before he proposed, and we spent just about every day of that year together. Then, one night, I (again, just as scared as the first time I said "I love you") asked him what he would think of us moving in together. He kind of balked at first, and I immediately took that hesitancy as his lack of interest. I started crying and getting all hysterical (boy, I was a silly, emotional girl). He broke in and told me that he wanted to marry me...that he wanted me to be the mother of his babies...and that his hesitancy had nothing to do with how he felt about me. Once I quit sobbing, I asked him if he really meant what he said and if that was a proposal. He said "yes...would you raise babies with me?" That was a very good New Year's!!!

20. Who has more siblings? We have approximately the same make, model, and number. We each have one sister. I'm at one end of the spectrum, 22 months older than Melissa, and Paul is at the other, being 9 years younger then his sister, Michaela.

21. Who wears the pants in the family? The "pants." Hmmm. Well, Paul usually wears shorts, regardless of the weather. I'm a big fan of pants...jeans, in particular. But when it comes to making the decisions in the Domer Family, every step of the way is made as a team.

Well, there he is. Mr. Paul Joseph Domer. My husband. My best friend. Thanks for reading!

Free at last...

Well, the time has come to say "good bye" to the longest relationship I've ever had. The University of California Davis and I first met in the fall of 1998. Over the next three years, I would live in its dorms, call several different apartment complexes "home," work countless hours in one of their student-run medical clinics in Oak Park, and get my first tastes of medical research. After graduation in 2001, I started my career in the School of Medicine and, after 6 years of research there, moved to the greener-grass of the School of Veterinary Medicine. All in all, this institution has gotten three years of study, nine years of research, blood, sweat, and tears out of me. Now, I think I'm ready to move on.

So, I will officially be leaving my post as the surveillance coordinator, laboratory safety officer, lead molecular technician, and "monkey wrench" at the Center for Vectorborne Diseases on Friday, February 15. Now, contrary to the revenge fantasies I've played out in my mind for years, my resignation from the university was not fueled by anger or spite and it wasn't the result of any proverbial straw or incident.

To put it simply (and a bit ironically)...I can't afford to work.

In order to use the VA fee waiver my dad secured for my sister and me, years ago, I need to NOT MAKE over a certain amount of money in the tax year prior to my school year. I knew that this would preclude me from using the fee waiver my first year in school, but it wasn't until the other day that I realized that working from January to June of this year, prior to going to San Francisco, would bring me enough money to preclude me from using the waiver my second year of school, as well. Considering that the fee waiver covers $18,000 of the $21,000 tuition, I was suddenly faced with a very difficult decision.

Through many chats with our folks (thank you for your love, support, and undying faith in me), e-mails and phone calls to the university and the VA, Paul and I have decided that it would be most prudent for me to quit work before we broke the income cap on the fee waiver. So our plan is to keep me unemployed until I find out the results of my February 8 UCSF interview. If I'm accepted, I will continue my unemployment until I start school in September and we move to the city in July. If I'm rejected (oooh, ugly word), Paul and I have decided that we both need a change of pace...from work and this university and California, in general. So we're playing with the idea of accepting an offer from an old co-worker of mine and moving to Virginia. The coworker, a post-doc from my current job, is now the director of a large infectious disease lab in Shenandoah Valley, VA. I would be able to continue my virology research there, potentially go to graduate school, and work on the re-re-application to pharmacy schools. Who knows...the move and the job may even lead us down a new path. If one door closes, we'll look for a window.

So, Mrs. Domer is going to be playing house wife for a few months. In all honesty, I'm sad to be leaving science because I get a great deal of satisfaction from my work. On the flip-side, I'm truly looking forward to the sabbatical. It will be nice to spend a few months getting our little house organized for a move, and perhaps I can finally get back into doing the volunteer work I so enjoyed when I was in school. There are so many things I have planned. Heck, the idea of having dinner ready at a decent hour and the house vacuumed more than bi-weekly is awfully novel and exciting right now, too!

Things feel really good right now, like we're moving in exactly the direction in which we're meant. It's a bit scary to quit work. I've been employed AND in college since I was 16 years old. Fourteen years later, a bit wiser and a whole lot more comfortable in my skin, I'm ready for an adventure. And I know that we're going to make it just fine. We have the love and support of the two greatest families for which a newly-married couple could ever wish, and we will forever be grateful to them!

I think 2008 is going to be a very good year for the Domer Family!

(Note: I honestly don't take photos of myself working. These were taken by the UC News Service for a series of stories they've done on the center, my work here, and my battle with West Nile virus. I'll probably get rid of them when I leave...I think I'm done being the WNV poster child).